


fall a little bit deeper

by twixses



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff without Plot, yeah we love fluff what about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24945088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twixses/pseuds/twixses
Summary: four times Joohyun almost told Seungwan she likes her, and the one time she did
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	fall a little bit deeper

**Author's Note:**

> this is my fic that i've converted into wenrene because their tags be surrounded by angst like hello are ya'll okay ?????

+++++

1.

Seungwan's a lot of things to you. She's an enigma, a riddle, a puzzle that has one piece missing – everything that is a mash of confusion and the unknown. She's this mysterious foreign girl who likes to keep you on your toes a lot. She'll say something innocent but her playful smirk gives away the idea that what she said wasn't so innocent afterall. Son Seungwan is everything and nothing.

Having her is both a blessing and a curse but you're not complaining. No matter what eccentric thing she does you won't grow tired, you'll never grow tired. So when she (out on a whim) drunkenly pirouettes on top of Taeyeon's coffee table – almost falling flat on her face – you literally drop everything so you could catch her.

She lands with a soft thud, her small frame fits well in your arms anyone would think you're made for each other. You manage to carefully scoop her up, her head lolling to the side, long hair framing her pretty face. You wrinkle your nose when the stench of alcohol became evident when she softly snores right after passing out.

"Wow she's really wasted," you hear Taeyeon comment, the older girl sitting on one of the barstools (one hand holding a red cup while the other picks at the paper on the bottle of wine) swaying her legs to and fro, "You should probably blame Seulgi and Sooyoung for that." she drop-names, her promise of getting said hoobaes out of trouble flying at the back burner.

Opening your mouth to reply, you then decide that arguing to a semi-drunk person isn't worth it. Besides, Taeyeon wasn't really involved when twiddle-dee and twiddle-dumb decided to make Seungwan their victim.

So instead, you tell Taeyeon that you'll be taking Seungwan home since her apartment's only three streets down from yours anyway. But Taeyeon – being the mom friend that she is – asks if she could help you.

"Seungwan’s not really as light as a feather. You'll end up having asthma by the time you arrive, Joohyun." she states matter-of-factly.

And in the end, you don't reject the offer because your arms feel like it's ready to fall off, and Seungwan getting heavier by the minute isn't helping either.

\---

Taeyeon gave you a car ride to Seungwan's place, then helped you carry a dead-weight up to the 9th floor.

"You should really stay with her you know. Suelgi and Sooyoung are god knows where, doing god knows what. They're probably out there disappointing Jesus yet _again_." Taeyeon says it with complete disdain then, "Seungwan needs someone to take care of her."

And you did. You stayed.

Taeyeon leaves a few minutes after giving you a pep talk about how to take care of very drunk friends and now you're currently sitting on the end of Seungwan's bathtub, holding her hair back as she empties whatever content her stomach deemed rejectable.

You gently rub her back, watching her hold the side of the toilet for dear life.

"There there," you coo, "Just let it all out."

And even in a fucked up drunken mess, you still think Seungwan's darn great... or maybe it's just the alcohol talking.

Seungwan stops heaving all together and you think she might've passed out again but she looks over her shoulder, wipes her mouth with the back of hand and slurs, "Ah pretty Joohyunie," she holds your hand, eyes already drooping but she focuses them on you (or at least you think she's trying to). "Stay for the night?" her voice was a bit raspy, quiet even but you heard her (you always do) and you don't really need to be told twice so you nod your head so fast Seungwan felt like she's about to hurl again.

"Okay," you softly smile at her, tucking a strand of her hair, "I'll stay for the night."

_I'll stay as long as you want me to._

\---

It took you three tries to get her up from the bathroom floor, two tries to wash her up, and four tries get her off of her clothes because, "Not so fast Bae Joohyun. At least take me to dinner first before you go for third base." She tries to wink, paring it with a cheeky smile that shows her dimple.

And _god_ drunk Seungwan is so endearing. Drunk Seungwan will probably be the death of you.

After what felt like 2 hours of struggling, you manage to finally put her to bed, cautiously draping the duvet over her body. Watching the rise and fall of her chest, watching Seungwan peacefully sleep, you admit that you stayed sober the whole night. You admit that Seungwan's pretty darn great even when she's a drunken mess.

But you don't admit you like her.

Not tonight at least.

\---

Seungwan wakes up the next morning with a hangover and an aching body. Slowly turning to her side, she sees a pill of advil and a note attached to a bottle of gatorade. Reading the little note, she bites down her lower lip, fighting back a smile.

 _"Morning sleepyhead_ _©_ _Didn't want to wake you up because you looked so peaceful when you sleep." ~ Joohyun_

_P.S. Don't forget to take these two._

+++++

2.

Seungwan's a lot of great things you don't know. She's like an idea that you can't quite grasp but you try your hardest to understand anyway. So when she clumsily stumbles inside your apartment – grinning so wide giving the sun a run for its money – holding two tickets, she tells you, "Let's go!" like an excited child going to the theme park for the first time.

You don't ask where, what you're going to be doing, and why. You simply mirror her smile and nod your head, "Okay, let me get ready first."

 _You're whipped_ \- that's what would Taeyeon say if she were there. You can almost see that playful glint in her eyes and teasing smile whenever you drop everything for Seungwan. 

And maybe you are but you'll never admit that to her.

The red line encircles the date of your project's deadline but you barely looked at it now. You don't think about responsibilities or anything else. You only think about Seungwan and what she has up in her sleeves. What the day will consist of with her by your side.

You only think about her, and then nothing else follows.

\---

She brought you to a park. A penguin park? You're not so sure. But you look up at the large glass and you see lots and lots of penguins. You look to your side and you see a guy in a penguin suit giving penguin-shaped balloons to random kids. So you'd like to think that Seungwan brought you to some penguin sanctuary. She's a lot of great things and her habit of completely blindsiding you is one of them.

"You know, penguins look for a partner and they mate for life. Except for that," pointing at a different kind of penguin Seungwan shakes her head, "Emperor penguins don't know what loyalty means."

You just nod your head because you don't know any trivial facts about penguins. So when Seungwan goes on and on about the latter, you pretend that you understand because excited Seungwan is one of your favorite kinds of Seungwan. Excited Seungwan is all about fondness. Excited Seungwan is like a walking over enthusiastic encyclopaedia.

"And you know what I think?"

"What?"

"Penguins should wear bow ties.”

She sees you kink your brow, a fond smile almost painting your face. Excited Seungwan is everything weird in between.

\---

You walked, you talked, you bought almost everything at every food stall you walk by and then you walked some more.

You spent the whole day at the penguin park and by now, you almost know all of the essential facts about them and to be honest, this is one of those moments where Seungwan goes on a talking-spree, so you listen, you nod, and you tell her she's cute in the most innocent, endearing way possible.

You notice that she stops walking so you turn around looking confused, but Seungwan's sporting that playful smile again so you kind of panic and backtracks to what you just said.

Raising a brow, a smirk on display, "You think I'm cute?"

She's teasing you and you know it but there's just something in the way she looks at you (playful smile and all), something in the way the streetlamp reflects its light casting a shadow over her face.

And then you're looking at her in awe because Seungwan looks so, so ethereal. And god it knocks the air out of your lungs.

With shaky hands and rose-colored cheeks you tell her, "No, I think you're beautiful."

Her playful smile turns into a shy one, she bites her lower lip and looks down. And you almost, _dear god_ you almost told her those three words.

But you don't.

Not today anyway.

The next day you learned from Seulgi that Seungwan actually stayed up to land those penguin theme park tickets.

“She noticed that you were really stressed out and also knows you flinch at every animal that make sounds.”

“And penguins don’t?”

“You have a point but Seungwan said they’re cute and they look like they’re wearing tuxedos.”

+++++

3.

It's a long weekend, your group of friends decided to go to the theme park but you didn't calculate the mass of people who also wanted to enjoy their weekend so you ended up getting lost.

Well to put it simply, Seungwan dragged you to the arcade games so you both ended up getting separated from the group.

She tightly holds your hand, manoeuvring her way to every game there is. You don't complain though. You never will. It's only the two of you again and it makes your heart do all sorts of flips inside your chest. You hold on to her tight, the warmth of her hand puts you at ease.

\---

You finally arrive in what Seungwan would consider _'arcade games heaven_ ’. Taking a glance, you see her smiling so wide she looked like a kid that got let loose in a candy store. She drags you to the counter, asks the guy for tokens and she almost gives him her entire money and now you're thinking the only reason Seungwan chose to drag you is because she needed someone responsible to look after her when she's in her own element. But you don't shake your head in disapproval, you don't stop her. Instead, you take out your own wallet and pays for the both of you. She was about to protest but you only intertwine your hands and you smile at her.

And for a moment, it felt like it's only the two of you there. For a moment, Seungwan felt like she already won every game there is.

\---

Seungwan's talented. She's really good at many things like singing, being smart, making your heart stop everytime she looks at you. She's pretty darn great at everything.

Kind of.

Well except for this game you were currently playing.

She's on her seventh try now and you watch her try to press the bell as fast as she can but you'd always beat her to it.

She leans on your shoulder, whining like a toddler, "You're cheating!" she grumbles.

You only laugh and shake your head. You play another round but this time Seungwan wins, not because you let her win but because you lost focus when you felt her soft lips pressed against your cheeks.

"I won!" Seungwan squeals, loud and proud.

She won because she cheated but you don't call her out for it, instead, you look at her with a dopey smile, "So another game?"

She whips her head, looking around for another game to play with, "Claw machine."

You nod without having any second thoughts and then you think if it meant you get your cheeks kissed everytime she wins, you'll let her win a thousand times and more.

\---

The thing about every claw machine is that it's a god-forsaken game. You'd think the devil himself invented it just to scam you out of your tokens, which by the way, you're running low on. Seungwan lets you play this one. She stays at the side just watching you, letting herself get entertained.

Too focused on winning the game, you don't notice the way her eyes would flicker down to your lips everytime you absentmindedly bite it. You don't notice the way Seungwan bites back a laugh when you finally had enough and shook the damn claw machine out of frustration. You don't notice her looking at you like she's inlove.

When it looked like you were about to break the glass – and take out every toy inside – she approaches you and takes your hand, "Let's go on another game."

Maybe it's the softness of her tone or the way she held your hand or the way she looked at you. Maybe it was a mix of those three that made your chest hurt – the good kind of hurt, made you feel warm – the kind of warmth that melts your insides. Seungwan makes you feel everything at once, and it scares the hell out of you but it's okay because she's Seungwan and she's worth every risk. So you take her hand without any hesitation and you let her lead you to whatever arcade there is. Heck, you'll probably follow her to the depths of hell if she asks you to; Yerim would probably roll her eyes if she gets wind of her thoughts.

You look down and your hands fit perfectly together and you die a little inside – but the good kind of dying.

\---

It's already past 4pm when you receive a text from Seulgi saying to meet them at some fast food chain since the two devils namely, Sooyoung and Yerim, were constantly complaining about starving to death. So you pile up all the tickets you got from every game, ready to exchange it for whatever price you get.

Seungwan ended up getting a candy; the ones where it's a circular kind of candy with various swirling colors around them. Her face lighting up when the guy at the counter gives it to her. And you had the sudden urge to pull her in and hug her like tomorrow never existed.

When it was your turn, you chose a chipmunk stuffed toy without even realizing it.

"Here," you hand Seungwan the stuffed toy coolly before dragging her along.

And you might not have noticed the blush that crept up on the girl’s cheeks after that because you were busy finding the exit. You might not have noticed how Seungwan held your hand tighter this time, like she's afraid of losing you.

"Don't let go," you remind her.

"I won't."

It wasn't intended but the memory of Seungwan's lips pressed against your cheeks hits you like a bullet train, the softness of her lips still lingers and you're wondering how her lips would feel against your own.

"And Seungwan..."

"Yeah?"

The three words get stuck in your throat.

"I uh... you can keep it. The uh- you know," you gesture at the stuffed toy.

Seungwan only nods, seeming to wait for those three words.

But they don't come out. You don't tell her you like her.

Not yet.

+++++

4.

You find her at the roof deck of your apartment, back against the railing, head looking up at the stars. The cold wind brushes her hair to the side, making her look like a real life pirate who got mixed up in parallel universes and you wonder what she's thinking about.

But you don't ask her that, you say, "You'll get cold if you don't go back in."

She doesn't move an inch. Only staring at the sparkling sky, "Do you think wishing on shooting star is true?"

_No because if they did, then we would’ve been together a long time ago._

"Yes."

She smiles coyly at you, head tilting to the side. "Then I guess my wish will come true afterall."

_What did you wish for?_

"Oh... well, you should really get back inside since it's cold out," is what you settle for instead.

There are a lot of words that get stuck in your throat, a lot of words left unsaid because you're scared that if they leave your lips, Seungwan might slip right through your fingertips.

When Seungwan looks at you all starry-eyed, your head goes blank and you lose track of what you want to say. So you swallow them down and you take a step back from completely letting go.

She shakes her head, "You go ahead. I’m just taking a breather," you see a flash of something in her eyes when she says, "You should be the one going back inside. Don’t want whoever that guy you brought breathing down my neck again." Then it goes away as fast as it came.

There’s a dull feeling creeping up your chest, "Seungwan,” You call out her name like you’re pleading, like she’s going to disappear the moment the clock strikes twelve so you ended up doing a word vomit, piling up information you're not sure is even relevant, "I didn’t even invite him. He just showed up at my doorstep and besides the party's boring without you."

She huffs out a disbelieving laugh, "Really?"

You stand your ground, grasping at every excuse to be around her longer to not lose sight of her. "Nothing's ever boring when you're spending it with the right person."

You mean it. You mean everything you’ve said to her. You enjoy the little things you do together – from what songs to listen to, up to deep late night conversations. You remember how pretty she looked even when she's a mess, you remember how she looks in her best. You remember every moment you spent with her because you will always remember her. She's your favorite memory to sleep to, your favorite memory to wake up in. She'd made a permanent place in your life and you don't mind. Not one bit.

The loud music blaring from your apartment changes into something mellow. Seungwan pulls you out of your trance, holding your hand until you're standing few inches away from each other.

"Dance with me."

Without any hesitation you pull her close. She leans her head on your shoulder, swaying to the steady beat. This moment will probably be something you'd look back to. Everything about this moment is, dare you say, _intimate_ that the only thing you worrying about is the rapid thumping in your chest. You're a hundred percent sure Seungwan can feel it but she doesn't say anything, she only pulls you in closer; relishing in the moment.

When the song ends, you slowly pull away and step back. But Seungwan's hands are still on your shoulders, making you stay in place. You notice her gaze slowly flicker down to your lips and she absentmindedly bites her own. Then she looks up, eyes in trance and a little bit hazy.

"Joohyun," she gently calls out, making your knees weak.

You swear you could feel your heart about to pop out of your ribs, "Yeah?"

The heavy atmosphere eggs you to kiss her. Seungwan's still looking at you with glassy eyes and you wonder if she wants this too. You wonder if she wants to kiss you too.

But all of it goes away like a balloon being popped, as a loud bang echoes at the roof top. Joohyun heaves a sigh, seeing Yerim and Nayeon wearing party hats wobble their way to Seungwan, asking the girl to bake them a cake because “ _we have party hats on so it’s our birthday!!!_ ”

You could only watch as they manhandle Seungwan away with them.

\---

With Seungwan’s help, you finish up cleaning your apartment at three in the morning but still, you don't tell her you like her.

Because you didn't get the chance to.

+++++

5.

"What kind of flowers do I get that conveys, ' _I'm so really truly sorry about today. I got caught up with deadlines these past few days that I forgot about your theater play. Please forgive me. I won't forget anything anymore_.'" Sweaty forehead and hair disheveled, you heaved after that long description, slamming down 20,000 won on the counter.

The old lady minding the flower shop doesn't judge you. She gives you a fond smile and says, "I have something for you, dear. Wait here." She pats your hand reassuringly and goes to the back of the shop, returning with six pink-colored flowers. She arranges it for you before handing it with a motherly smile. But you're not a flower expert so you look at the old lady confused.

"Those are pink carnations," she points out, "It means _I'll never forget you again_ ," she explains further.

You bow a full ninety-degree and thank her for saving your life.

Not even waiting for your change, you dash out as fast as your feet could take you. Not even caring when you run through a red light and almost got hit by a bike.

Taking a taxi would have stopped you from looking like a distressed person but it was rush hours and you'll be stuck in traffic for god knows how long. So running was literally the only way out. So you heave and you cough, your throat running dry from a mile run. 

Three blocks away from the theater, you look down at the flowers. Three. That's how many flowers you're holding right now and that's also how many flowers you dropped while running. But you don't care about that anymore because you have fifteen minutes left before the performance ends.

With a final exhale, you speed-walked your way to the door, only to be blocked by security.

"Please my friend is there," you wave the flowers at the guard's face, "I just need to give her these."

But no matter what you say, security refuses to let you in so you did what any logical person would do – you forced yourself inside and then you run.

And you think you’ve really lost it because _the_ Bae Joohyun is never forgetful, never loses her cool, never runs through traffic like a crazed person and /never/ breaks mandates of any sorts.

" _Wow.. you're really a fool inlove._ " Joohyun can practically hear Taeyeon say that to her face.

\---

You manage to spot an entryway straight to the theater. The only problem is, it was the entryway towards the stage. So you clumsily stumble inside when Seungwan was taking her final bow.

The blaring spotlight blinds your eyes but with that intense workout you just went through, you don't even care anymore. You walk towards a surprised Seungwan, holding a single pink carnation.

"I'll never forget you again," you said in one breath, "And I'm really sorry for missing your play and–"

"Unnie," Seungwan calls out breathlessly and you would have laughed at how wide her eyes went if you didn't feel like just dropping to the floor at any second now. "The play isn’t until next week," she further supplies.

 _That_ puts a break on your adrenaline-induced brain.

Oh.

**_Oh._ **

Then on, Seungwan's shy smile turned into an amused one, "Is there anything else you want to say?"

Her smile just strikes you to the core and honestly, there's nothing you wouldn't do for this girl. So you take a leap of faith.

You confess.

"And I like you. Really, really like you. I've liked you ever since the first time I saw you. This might sound cliché and cheesy but I like the drunken mess you. I like the penguin theme park enthusiastic you. I like the arcade game fanatic you." She flails her hands mid-air, "I like all versions of you. And I just need to put it out there because you make me feel things that make my chest implode and I just really- _really_ like you."

"That's a lot of likes," someone shouts from inside the theater, "Eight likes."

And then you realize that you just confessed not only infront of Seungwan but also to whoever were inside the theater with them. Your face turns a bright red from embarrassment and you're ready to do another sprint but Seungwan stops you. She holds your hand and forces you to stay.

Hand on your cheek she softly whispers, "I like you too," she confesses, "Like really, _really_ like you."

You don't know how to respond because one; Seungwan just said she likes you too, and two; your heartbeat is drowned out by the applause that surrounds you as Seungwan leans in and finally kisses you.

Nothing else matters anymore.

\----

With shaky breath and nerves all over the place, you tell her you like her again after you walked her to her doorstep.

And you almost- almost told her you love her.

+++++


End file.
